New Beginnings
by Jules1974
Summary: Post Eclipse. Bella leaves Edward at the altar and decides to take time for herself to make the right choice in committing in a relationship with Edward or Jacob
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I guess this is fan fiction norm. I do not own the Twilight Series characters. Stephanie Meyer does. I do claim the therapist in the story, though... :)**

Chapter 1

I was just standing there, looking at myself in the mirror. Shock, disbelief, confusion…. All of these feelings coursing through me like an avalanche coming down on me. I'm just standing there in my wedding dress. A vision of beauty my dad Charlie said. A princess as my dear friend Alice told me earlier today. I should be happy, right? It's my wedding day and I should be ecstatic in wanting to marry the man of my dreams but instead, I am in utter disbelief and confusion. Am I making the right choice? This is the day that most women dream of and I just don't want it. Could it be that I don't want to marry Edward Cullen? He's the love of my existence, right?

I turned away from the mirror and sat down in front of my dresser. I see my phone vibrating with a text. I check my phone and the text was from Jacob. All the text said was "Are you sure about this??" and then a second text from him "Do you really want to marry him?" Just as I am about to respond, I hear a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in", I said. The door opens and I watch my best friend walk into my bedroom. Jacob looked stunning in his suit. The Chanel suit does wonders on any man but on Jacob, he looked like he stepped out of pages of GQ magazine. A picture of beauty in my eyes. Jacob was not one for designer clothes but chose to be dressed up for the occasion. My wedding to Edward. His eyes expressed sadness even though I asked him to be a part of my wedding; I knew this was difficult for him. Jacob respected my choice to be with Edward and the life I chose to live or not live if being a vampire meant to technically stop breathing. Nonetheless, Jacob was supportive and he loved me more than I could ever deserve to be loved.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Bella?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know." I admitted.

Jacob walked over to where I was sitting at my dresser and knelt down to me. "Then come away with me." "I'll let Charlie know and he can let the guests know the wedding is postponed."

"I just can't do that, Jacob!" I whaled. "There are over a hundred guests waiting for me to walk down the aisle and marry Edward Cullen!" "Plus, Edward will be devastated!" "I got myself into this and must take responsibility for my actions."

"NO!! You don't have to do this Bella!" Jacob exclaimed. "You have a choice. You always had a choice." "Come away with me for a few days. Once you made a decision, what ever it may be, I'll respect it." Jacob looked at me pleadingly as if my life depended on my decision. If I chose Edward, I would eventually become a vampire and risk losing my best friend forever.

"Ok" I said. "I'll postpone the wedding and go away with you but I have to let Edward know…" Just as I was to finish my sentence, Alice bursts through my bedroom.

"Bella! Edward is frantic!" She exclaimed. "I saw your future disappear and he's devastated. He's on his way to talk to you right now. Are you really sure you want to do this?" Alice asked. "Its what she wants to do. No one can make her marry Edward!" Jacob intercepted. Alice turned to Jacob. "I know that Jacob, but my brother has the right to an explanation. He deserves that!" Alice turned to me. "Honey, whatever you decide is fine by me. I just want you to be happy."

Just as Alice was walking out of my bedroom, Edward walked in. Edward with his golden eyes and tousled hair, looked as beautiful as the first day in saw him at the cafeteria at Forks High. How can I tell him I can't marry him right now? I love him; I can't live without him but just not ready to marry him?

One month later….

I'm sitting outside of the therapist's office patiently waiting for Dr. Basil to call me in. As I was filling out the consent forms, I thought about the many times Charlie suggested I go talk to someone. Now was the time I felt ready to do so. I did not marry Edward but I did not go away with Jacob either. I told everyone to leave my room, I took off my wedding dress, put on a comfy pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, sneakers, packed a few things and quietly left the Cullen home. I drove what it seemed like days. I ended up checking into a hotel in Seattle and lulled in my misery. Turned off my cell phone and stayed in the dark hotel room, sleeping, occasionally watching old re-runs of Beverly Hills 90210 on TV and ordering from room service. God, how I envied Kelly. She had a plethora of men who adored her and somehow experienced all these tragedies. Then I started thinking. I, Bella Swan, am Kelly Taylor. Our lives are parallel. If she was able to choose between Dylan and Brandon, why was I having such a hard time choosing between Edward and Jacob? Big difference between me and Kelly…. She did not have to deal with the supernatural. Well, that's Hollywood for ya.

I eventually came to my senses after a week and a few hundred dollars in hotel charges later, that I needed to face my fears and go back home. I ended up moving back home, giving Edward the ring and Mercedes back and pretty much told him I needed time for my self and see what I wanted out of life. I told Jacob the same thing. I just could not have either one of them around while I needed time for myself and make the right choice for my life.

"Bella Swan?" I look up at Dr. Julia Basil greeting me at the waiting room. Dr. Basil greeted me with a warm smile. She was a picture of elegance. Curly dark hair up in a ponytail, pink cardigan knit set, black dress slacks and black platform pumps. I sat in her warm cozy couch in her office. I should have felt intimidated looking at her diplomas and various certifications on her walls but her office had an at home feel to it and pretty much felt comforted being there.

"So Bella, what brings you here today?" Dr. Basil asked. Well, what was I supposed to tell her? Yeah, I'm stuck in a love triangle between a vampire and a werewolf and yeah, I was thinking of becoming immortal in the process….

"Actually, I'm really confused and torn right now Dr. Basil. You see, I was going to marry my high school boyfriend whom I've been in love with for the past two years, when my best friend declared his love for me. For a long time, I denied my feelings for my best friend until I kissed him and those feelings came flooding in. Now I'm just confused!" I felt like I was talking a hundred miles and hour and my head was about to explode with anxiety.

"Bella, it's very normal to feel that way. Love and relationships are complicated. If you allow me to help you, we may be able to come up with some solutions for you together." Dr. Basil seemed so warm and genuine. Her warm brown eyes looked as if she came from that same place and understood where I was coming from. If she only knew my deep, dark secrets, she would think I'm nuts and automatically send me to the looney bin.

"My father insisted I come but I just never thought I needed it." I said glumly. " Therapy is not for everyone. You come when you're ready and now you are ready to deal with this issue." The doctor's words were encouraging. I spent the remainder of the hour telling her, in moderation, about my love triangle. Edward leaving, Jacob coming to the rescue, Edward coming back, Jacob declaring his undying love for me, and last but not least, my indecision.

"Where do I go from here?" I asked. "Well, Bella. Why not start from the beginning?" Dr. Basil asked. And my journey began.

**A/N This is my first fan fiction and I am open to feedback. I hope you guys enjoy it :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I ended up meeting with Dr. Basil for the next few weeks. We explored my indecision which in fact went back to fears in committing to relationships. Who knew Charlie and Renee divorcing when I was a kid affect me this way?

She encouraged me to spend time with Edward and Jacob before I made such a decision. I decided to see Jacob first which I thought would be easier for me to do. I was not ready to face Edward yet.

Saturday morning I woke up to an unusually bright sunny day in Forks. It was summer after all. It was a nice change to have the sun shining down on Forks. After two years of living here, I was already used to the overcast days and rain. I made breakfast for Charlie and myself and decided to give Jake a call.

"Hi Billy! Is Jake home?" I asked jittery with butterflies in my stomach.

"Hi Bella. So glad you're back. We missed you here." Billy said with a warm tone in his voice.

"Thanks, Billy. I really missed you guys too."

"Bella, Jake had a long night patrolling. He should be up soon. I'll have him call you."

"Sure, Billy and thanks. I really needed to hear that." I said. Happy to know Billy still cared about me.

"No problem, Bells. You're family." Billy said in his most sincere of statements.

I hung up the phone and went about my morning. Not having anything to do was frustrating at times. I had decided to quit Newton's Outfitters due to the fact I was to marry Edward and moving to Alaska but since things did not work out, I was out of a job and Mike's mom had already replaced me with a Senior from Forks High School. I might as well see this as a new opportunity to explore my options.

I was surfing the net looking for part-time work when I got a text from Jacob.

Hey there! - Jacob

Hi!-Bella

Dad said u called? – J

Yeah, I want to see u – B

Me too. I miss you – J

Same here-B

We need to talk – J

I know. Can we meet today? – B

Sure, we can meet at First Beach – J

Sure, what time? – B

How about in an hour? – J

Ok, I'll be there – B

Ok, later – J

A rush of fear and excitement ran through me. I had not seen Jake in almost a month. I missed him so much. At around Noon, I drove down to La Push towards First Beach. When I drove up to First Beach, I surrounded myself with the sites of the ocean and mountains around me. I had missed this so much. I missed my time with Jake. The happy times we shared driving the motorcycles, spending time in his garage, and taking walks down the beach. How did it all change so quickly?

I got to the beach and was walking on the sand lost in my thoughts when I suddenly felt someone sneak up behind me and warm strong arms wrapped themselves around me. "Bella!" Jacob's husky voice bellowed in my ears.

"Jake! You scared the crap out of me!" I shouted.

"Bells, I'm just so happy to see you. I missed you so much!" Jake was elated like finding his favorite toy after months of searching for it.

"I missed you too." I admitted

"What happened? Why did you take off? I should be mad at you right now but I'm happier to see you then be mad at you." Jacob said with a look of elation in his deep brown eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry I just took off but I needed time to think about things. I'm still pretty confused but I'm getting help with that. I'm seeing a therapist right now. Charlie is thrilled to say the least." I muttered.

"Bella, that's good. If talking to someone outside of all of this will help, I'm right behind ya. I just want you to know that I will be able to make you happy and give you a life full of happiness." I looked up at Jake and was impressed by his beauty. His warm russet skin was smooth and his well-defined muscles were accented underneath his tight black t-shirt and blue jeans. His hair was shaggy on top and bright white teeth contrasted his smooth dark skin.

I took his hand and entwined my fingers through his. I could easily get lost in him. Jake's been my best friend, confidant, my personal sun through the roughest of times. He fought for me, admitted his love to me. I can truly say without a doubt that I have fallen in love with him which has made my life even more complicated.

"I know, Jake. Thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for giving me the time I need to know what to do. All I wanted to do was run away and hide after the wedding but my therapist encouraged me to seek you and Edward out again and take my time in making the right choice for me so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the time this summer to spend time with the both of you before I make my decision. Is that something you think you can handle? If not, I'll understand but you're too important for me to let go that easily." I looked at him with pleading eyes.

I stood there what felt like was an eternity. Jake frowned and pursed his lips and finally said "Okay, I go along with this. I'm not happy with the fact that you'll be seeing HIM too but nonetheless, whatever time I can spend with you is more time that I can show you the kind of life you will have with me." Jacob then cupped my face with both hands, traced my bottom lip with his rough thumb and brought his lips down to mine.

Electric currents rushed through me as our mouths merged together. The last time we kissed was at the clearing right before he went to battle Victoria and her army of vampires. I had finally allowed myself to let go and feel what I felt for Jake. I found out I still felt the same way. Jake then let go of my mouth and trailed kisses along my jaw and neck. I lost myself in his touch. Nothing else existed at that moment other then us. I wrapped my arms around his neck standing on my tippy toes. Jacob took notice of my efforts and lifted me up and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. He felt vital and strong like nothing can hurt me when I was with him.

Before things got further and even more complicated. I broke our kiss. We were both in a daze looking at each other. Finally, words decided to form themselves and come out of my mouth.

"So, that was pretty incredible but I think we need to take things slow for the time being." I said as I slid down and away from him.

"I understand. I've waited this long for you. I'm not going to do anything to mess it up. I just want you to promise me whatever you decide to do, please tell me and not run off again." Jake's eyes were full of fear. I really hurt him when I left after the wedding. I never want to see that look ever again.

"I will let you know. Whatever I decide to do, I will let you know." I promised.

We kept walking hand in hand down the beach. "Hey, do you have plans for the rest of the day? I thought maybe we can go back to my house and hang out. Later on, we're getting together at Sam and Emily's place for dinner." Jake asked.

"No, I don't think that's such a great idea. Do the guys even want to see me?" I asked with trepidation.

"Of course, Bells. Everyone misses you. They're just happy you did not marry Edward. Come on, it will be fun." How could I turn him down when he flashed that incredible smile that lit me up in my dreariest of days?

"Sure, why not?" I muttered. And we headed back to Jacob's place.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out and catching up on what I had missed during my time away. Everyone including Billy, Sam, Emily and the rest of the pack welcomed me back as if I had never left. I felt like I was back home.

Jacob ended up driving my truck back home since he would be patrolling tonight. As we were walking to the front door to my house, Jacob took me by the hand and ended up walking around my side porch for some privacy. "Bells, I'm so glad to have you back." He took me in his warm arms stroking my back. I felt slightly dizzy and lightheaded. All I wanted to do at that moment was wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him senseless.

"Me too." I whispered. Jacob then lifted my chin as our mouths merged together. He gently stroked his tongue against my bottom lip and gently bit it. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and danced around me. My body was on fire and I never wanted the kissing to end but yet again, I practiced self control and ended the kiss. I gently pulled myself out of Jacob's arms. Funny how I would feel frustrated when Edward would stop kissing me before going over the edge and now here I was doing the same thing with Jacob. I could sense the frustration from Jacob.

"Argh!!" Jacob growled. "Now that I started kiss you, Bells, I now can't seem to stop." Jacob said as he was grinning.

"I know what you're talking about. I feel the same way but if I want to make the best decision for myself, I need to do this." I said as I was stroking Jacob's well defined arms. How can someone be this beautiful not just on outside but on the inside as well?

"I must go now but how about we get together again tomorrow afternoon?" Jacob asked

"Sure, call me when you wake up?"

"Great, I'll see you!" Jake exclaimed as he gave me one last kiss before running off into the woods.

Charlie was watching the Mariners game when I walked back inside the house.

"How are you doin' kiddo?" Charlie asked

"Great dad. Spent the day with Jake today. It was nice to see everyone again."

"That's good, Bells. You know Jake missed you while you were gone. He called everyday asking me if I had heard from you. That boy is one lost puppy without you." Charlie said. I always knew Charlie always had a preference for Jacob and my overwhelming feelings of guilt did not help what Charlie was saying.

"I know, dad. I missed him too. It's kinda hard to be in love with two people at the same time and I never wanted Jake to be led on but at the same time, I just can't stay away." I said sadly.

"You'll know what to do when the time is right. You've always been wise beyond your years." Charlie said as he turned back around on his recliner chair and continued to watch the game. Charlie was a man of few words but whatever he would say would carry its weight.

"Thanks, dad. It's been a long day. Good night!"

"Night, sweetie." Charlie said as I was going upstairs into the bathroom.

I showered and put on my pajamas and climbed into bed. I drifted onto a dreamless sleep. My first dreamless night in months.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of freshly made coffee. I went downstairs as Charlie was drinking his cup of coffee while reading the morning paper.

"Hey Kiddo! Did you have a good night's rest?"

"Sure did, dad. I feel great." I said as I was pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"I see your outing with Jake did you some good." Charlie smiled

"Yeah, it did." I grinned. "He's supposed to pass by again today." I said as I was preparing breakfast.

"Ok, well just let me know when you'll be back. I know you're a high school graduate and a young woman now, but I still worry about you." Charlie said.

"No worries, dad. I'll let you know."

Charlie and I sat and ate breakfast the rest of the time reading the morning paper. Charlie then left for work. "Bye, Bells. I'll see you tonight. Love you!"

"Love you too, dad." I smiled.

I was washing the dishes when I heard a soft knock on the door. I thought it might have been Charlie probably forgetting something but then again, why would Charlie knock? As I opened the door, I felt like my heart stopped beating and the color drained from my face. There in the doorway stood my own personal god. Edward looked breathtaking as always with is tousled dirty brown hair, amber eyes, and lean muscular frame. Wearing a form fitting t-shirt and blue jeans with a wide leather wristband displaying the Cullen crest, he looked hot. Edward can be dressed in rags and he would still look good.

"Hello Bella. I heard you were back." Edward said in his angelic voice.

"I, uh yeah. I'm back" I muttered as I nervously bit my bottom lip.

"May I come in?"

"Sure!" I stepped away from the doorway to let him in as he sauntered onto my kitchen.

"How was your time away?" Edward asked as he was leaning against the kitchen counter as his hands were in his back jean pockets.

"Oh, other than wallowing in my self pity eating from room service, watching re-runs of 90210, while spending hundreds of dollars in hotel room charges? Other, than that, it was a great time!" I said sarcastically. "Edward, you should be crucifying me, throwing me to the lynch mob, yelling and screaming at me, not asking me how my time away from you was. I LEFT you at the altar Edward!" I exclaimed. I wanted him to hate me, show some kind of emotion. I'm such a selfish person.

I saw Edward pause for a moment. He then walked over to me, put his icy hands around my face. "Bella, I would never do those things to you. I know you're confused. I am willing to wait forever for you. I love you beyond words, beyond comprehension. You're the only reason for my existence." He then gently kissed me on my lips. Fire was running through my veins, lost in his kiss. As Edward lifted his mouth from mine, I opened my eyes as he was staring intently from me. I took a step back.

"Edward, I can easily fall back into your arms and go on as if the events of the last month did not happen but I have to be true to myself for once. I don't want to lead you nor Jacob on and in order to make the right decision for myself, I'm going to spend time with the both of you." My heart was beating a 100 miles a minute as I was saying this avoiding his gaze in fear of rejection from him.

"Bella, if that is what you need to do, go ahead. Like I said, I am willing to wait forever for you. Besides, I already knew of your plans. Remember, I have a psychic for a sister." Edward grimaced as he was referring to Alice.

"Yeah, I figured as much. How is Alice? I miss her. I miss all of you." I asked.

"Everyone is well. They…" Edward stopped as we heard pounding on my front door.

"Who could it be?" I wondered. I ran to the door. As I opened the door, I saw an angry Jake standing in the doorway.

"I knew I smelled a bloodsucker around here." Jacob muttered. "May I come in, Bella or are you too busy right now?"

"No, Jake. Edward passed by unexpectedly. I thought you were going to call me this afternoon before getting together?" I asked with wondering eyes.

"I was but since I was patrolling nearby, I smelled the bloodsucker, I mean Edward and thought I'd stop by." Jacob sneered.

"Jacob, stop!" I exclaimed. "Edward just stopped by to welcome me home. He knows of my plans."

"Really, dog. If you can't be civilized of this, then you're not worthy of Bella's love." Edward sneered back.

I stood between them playing referee. I may as well have been playing Russian Roulette. I am out of my minding standing in between a face off between a vampire and a werewolf.

"Stop it both of you! Now the three of us have to agree to this. I'm dating both of you so if this is going to be the way both of you are going to act, then I may as well take off again. We're all mature enough to know the circumstances of the situation and we have been through a lot together so please try to get along for my sake." I pleaded to both of them.

"Fine! I'm only doing this for you Bells," Jacob said. "And I am going to play fair this time around. May the best man win." Jacob extended his hand to Edward.

"Certainly, the best man will win" Edward said with confidence in his voice as he shook Jacob's hand.

"Now, boys. Will you please give me sometime alone? I did not expect to be playing referee at this time of the morning." I said sarcastically as I was walking them to my door.

"Jake, I'll call you when I'm ready. Edward, I'll call you tomorrow so we can get together." I said in my sweetest of voices.

"Ok" Jake said as he was pouting. "I promise, the rest of the day will be drama free coming from me."

"Certainly, love. I'll await your call." Edward said gallantly.

I closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh of relief and thought to myself; boy even in the supernatural world, the men sure do like pissing on their territory. I promptly walked over to my cell phone, scanned the numbers and hit my speed dial.

"Good morning, Dr. Basil's office. How may I assist you?"

"Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment" I said tapping my fingernails against the kitchen table. This is going to be one hell of a rollercoaster ride.


End file.
